diary of a runner

lately my back has not been playing nice in the sandbox, but i think it’s okay now. at least it has been for the past 6 days. last tuesday, also my scheduled chiro day, it was hurting so i didn’t run, but by wednesday it felt much better.

wait, did i mention that i have thee best chiro ever, long story short he pimped out my sweet tooth (teeth) and bought me a gift card to my favorite bakery. which is another reason why i’m glad i can do some running again. i’m not winning in the weight department, most of which is sitting around my middle, and if i keep eating sweets i will never see my janet jackson abs.

speaking of doctors, i have to share yet another horrible experience of mine (off the record, so huddle around).

last wednesday, i visited a new orthopedic doctor and he was no better than the last one i had. he could not read the MRI and said he saw “something” at C4 and C5, but wasn’t sure what.

he also did not agree with the report because he couldn’t follow it and said this particular company under reads MRIs and their findings are not always accurate or aggressive enough, which is why i went to him.

i know “something” does not feel right and i want a new MRI done. he said, “nah, i don’t think you need it. you can live with it, have surgery or go for epidural shots.”

wth.

i said, “i will not live with it and will take the epidural shots.” he threw me a prescription for the pain (at my request) as i walked out the door. i left his office upset, depressed and almost in tears, because i couldn’t believe he wasted all that time and money attending medical school.

and just how smart is my new doctor? he examined my left arm. i said, in my mind of course, it’s the right arm, you moron. i knew i was in trouble when he walked in looking 8 months pregnant and not wearing a t-shirt under his dress shirt.

i spent more time in his office filling out inefficient forms than i did speaking with him about how we are going to fix me. forms that asked the same darn questions over and over again, sometimes even on the same page.

he doesn’t know this, but i have a ph.d in poppycock and have been known to flip out on medical forms after i deem them ridiculous. on page 1, i play nice:

name: valerie
dob: 7-17
sex: f
address: 123 any street

on page 5, my eyelids are half-staff

name: still valerie
dob: see page 1
sex: not yet
address: same as page 1

on page 9 my left eye is shut and the right one is twitching

name: let’s see, i’m on page 9, you can call me pissed off
dob: i’m not a born again christian, see page 1
sex: this morning
address: haven’t moved from this chair

i spent at least 45 minutes waiting and filling out forms. i wasted 10 minutes listening to the doctor talk about a boat he just bought. another minute watching him type a text message. twenty minutes wondering why wasn’t wearing an undershirt, five minutes listening to him talk about golf with another patient and 5 minutes watching him and his assistant try to read my MRI.

so, in order to save what’s left of my sanity i decided not to spend any more time getting upset over incompetent doctors. i blame myself, too, for walking around like a person with no options, i am not at his mercy. if he can’t do what i want or answer my questions, i will find someone else. simple. in the meantime, i’m thankful for the prescription pain pills.

on thursday, i am scheduled to see the doctor who will administer the epidural shots. it’s only a consultation though, i don’t even get the darn shot until the following week, december 1st, if i’m fortunate. he’s only in the office on thursday and next thursday is a holiday.

end.

i was able to get in a few runs last week, at least three, several cross training workouts and a few weight lifting sessions. it felt great to be in the gym and running again.

i had no problems with my shins, but my right calf was a little tight after my 2nd run. i don’t anticipate this being a problem. i’m not running very fast outside or on the treadmill or even every day. i’d be content with getting my body used to the activity again and hope nothing breaks down in the process.

in odd news:  i’ve been mulling over the idea of becoming a personal trainer and certified nutritionist. i’m quite positive – on most days – that all i want to do is workout and eat; the two combined keep me happy.

on the other hand, i’m not sure how committed i can be to other people. i have too many rules: don’t call me during jeopardy; don’t call me on the weekends; don’t call me at night, don’t call me in the morning, etc. my attitude tells me i’m not ready to take this on full-time. part-time maybe and then only on certain days.

at least if people are not happy with my shoddy personal training services because i’m more interested in watching jeopardy or what’s going on with my itouch, i can explain i train people on the side and that my real degree is in poppycock. hmmm, maybe my orthopedic doctor is really a professional golfer who does surgery on the side. this would explain so much.